Wishing On Stars
by leonsgirl47625
Summary: Of course, times had changed. They had changed faster then I ever thought possible. It wasn't for the worse, but it certainly wasn't for the better. Beautiful and broken.
1. Time Is Never Time At All

**A/N Hola! **Well, I've decided to start another fanfic. I hope you guys like this because its taken quite a while to write. :P

Disclaimer: I own one copy of Twilight, two of New Moon, and like 6 of Eclipse but I don't _own _Twilight.

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The icy wind came in gusts through my open window. Despite the mountain of blankets piled on my bed, the wintry night outside of my house chilled my bones. Another fit of wind blasted through my window. I was relatively surprised that no rain presented itself in the gale. I began to hum Edward's lullaby to myself as I folded my arms on the window seal and rested my head on them.

Strangely, in that moment, the wind subsided to a gentle blow. The air was damp and heavy – as it always was after a storm. Slowly the clouds began to shift and the stars shone through the inky black horizon. Phrases began to form in my mind's eye. They were distant, blurry but familiar. They teetered on the edge of my memory, becoming more and more distinct with each passing second. Then it struck me, a nursery rhyme Renée had taught me when I was little. Something I had repeated countless times…

I quickly focused on the first star that presented itself in my vision. I squeezed my eyes shut and whispered quickly.

"Star light, star bright, I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight."

"I remember hearing that as a kid."

Startled, I looked to the rocking chair in the corner of my room. Surely enough, Edward was sitting there.

"You scared me."

He laughed incredulously. "I scared _you? _I didn't think it was possible…"

And before I could respond with a witty comeback Edward was on the foot of my bed. I scrambled towards him. He smiled profusely and took me in his arms.

"Are you cold? Because I can—,"

"No. I'm perfectly fine."

Edward laughed at my ignorance and through the darkness flashed my favorite smile.

"Aren't you going to make a wish?" He offered.

I buried my face in the soft silk of his shirt and shook my head.

"I've already got everything I ever wanted. Why should I push it?"

Of course, times had changed. They had changed faster then I ever thought possible. It wasn't for the worse, but it certainly wasn't for the better. Edward had become distant, and more serious then ever. And so I clung to him, but he only pushed me away. The more he pushed, the harder I clung on.

It was never going to end, was it?

But for now I had to push through the pain. Any sign of weakness would be used against me.

"Bells, time to get up!" Charlie's voice echoed from downstairs. The words hung in the stale air of my bedroom. They rung out in my mind, and yet I was unable to process their meaning.

But they began to twist and change into a form I _could _understand.

_'Bella, time to get up so you can go see Edward.' _

I groaned softly and tried to think up an excuse that would make Charlie let me stay home. As much as I yearned to see Edward, his hollow smiles and half-empty eyes made the task far from enjoyable. Even worse were the times when we walked down the hallways together. As always, his arm was around me, but now it was different. His hand was on my lower back – like before – but he made no direct contact. His palm remained a few centimeters from the cloth of my shirt.

Charlie's voice rung out again, more urgent this time. I cast aside my hopes of skipping school along with my covers and scrambled to get ready. I pulled on the first things I saw, not caring about how they looked together.

I continued the rest of my morning routine dreading the generic conversations that would ensue with Edward.

_'Good morning, Bella,' _he would say, his beautiful voice monotone and lifeless.

_'Good morning, Edward,' _I would reply, just as monotone as him.

_'How did you sleep?' _

_'Not as good as I would have if you had been there.' _

_'Sorry Bella, I had other things to do last night.' _

_'Tomorrow then?' _

_'I'll try.' _Never _'I'll try _my hardest_,' _or _'I'll try, _love_,'_ always just _'I'll try.' _

By the time I got downstairs Charlie had already left for work. I grabbed an apple, slung my backpack over my shoulder and pulled my raincoat off of the hook near the door. Not bothering to check if Edward's car was outside, I left the house.

At first glance, through the pouring rain, the car looked right. But as my eyes adjusted to the change in light I realized the color and shape was wrong. This wasn't Edward's silver Volvo; it was Carlisle's black Mercedes. Not particularly fond of the rain, I rushed to the car and pulled the door open.

"Jasper?" I muttered in disbelief.

He forced the corners of his mouth up and nodded, motioning me in. I sat down, buckled my seat belt and gawked at him.

"Hunting. He told me to pick you up until he's back." Jasper answered my unspoken questions as he fed the gas and sped off.

Through the window I motioned to the heavy rain that fell outside. "On a day like this? And why aren't you with them?"

Jasper tightened his grip on the wheel. "Bella please don't talk to much, your breath…"

I bit my lip and allowed him to continue.

"He had a certain urge, and didn't mind the weather. Now if you want to talk, roll down the windows—the air circulation will help me."

I immediately slammed my hand down on the control buttons and the glass pane began to retract into the door. Water splattered all over my right side, but I didn't mind.

"He's avoiding me, isn't he?" Panic began to swell in the pit of my stomach, unable to surface due to the waves of serenity emanating from Jasper.

"He's not avoiding you," Jasper said in a soothing voice. "He was thirsty. He needed to hunt."

My stomach lurched at the last word and I turned away from his sickeningly calm golden eyes. Jasper removed one hand from the wheel and tore my left hand from the zipper of my jacket. He grasped it tightly.

"He'll be back."

I sulked until we reached the school.

The rain had stopped at some time during the short drive. I hadn't noticed that. Jasper parked Carlisle's car and got out to wait for me. I stole a glance at the dashboard clock –7:52 – and exited the car. We still had nearly 30 minutes until school began. I perused my lips impatiently and pushed the door open. Jasper stood just outside of the car, leaning against the exterior of a nearby Ford, parked in the next spot over.

"We have half an hour."

"Don't worry about it, Bella," he muttered as he led me to the wooden picnic tables outside of the main building. I sat on the dewy tabletop as he stood several feet away. "Didn't I pick you up around the same time that Edward does?"

Swallowing I nodded my head. "Well, Edward and I normally—."

"—That's enough. I don't need to know. No, I don't _need _to know."

I laughed slightly, momentarily forgetting my panic. "There isn't much to tell these days. It's all the same. Every single day is the same thing." I looked down, and began to twist my fingers into my jacket.

"He's become so distant. He'll kiss me but theres no emotion behind it, just his lips against mine," tears began to fall from my eyes, growing harder as I continued my confession. "In the hallways when we walk together he just presses all his fingers against thumb and keeps it centimeters from my back.

"And at night, we doesn't stay anymore. He hasn't for weeks. He always says he's too busy or has other things." I admitted, stringing my words together in most places.

Before I could lift my gaze Jasper was in front of me, his hands on my shoulders, pulling me to my feet. He leaned in as if he was going to kiss me and my mind went blank. I was vaguely aware of my hands dropping to my sides as he drew closer. But he did not bend down to come to level with my face; instead he tucked my head under his chin and embraced me.

I began to relax as my sobs quickly subsided.

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Whoo! Whats gonna happen next? Once I get atleast five reviews you'll find out!


	2. Denial And Picnic Tables

**A/N Hola! **Ok, heres chapter two as promised. Thanks to romulus-girl, Shadowed Reflection, Gabriel Wolfe, GtotheAtotheBBY, chickymeg177, alice031 and IhaveMYedward for reviewing! And to Shadowed Reflection, thanks for Jacob! Hes a good friend. :P

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, it'd probably be called Newborn. But its not. So I don't. :[

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An ominous feeling in the pit of my stomach kept me from concentrating, and my fingers tapping on my calculus desk. Angela, who was sitting in the next desk over, seemed to notice.

"Are you okay, Bella?" she asked, the concern in her voice genuine.

I nodded, absentmindedly doodling on what should have been my notes. Angela leaned over to place a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine." I replied rhetorically.

"Bella. What's bothering you?" She locked her dark brown eyes onto mine. "Bella, tell me."

I was puzzled; Angela wasn't one for persistence.

But she _was _a close friend. I _could _confide in her. She would understand the struggles with Edward. After all, her and Ben had surely gone through the same thing – or something like it. But I wasn't saying them aloud would make them real, andI wasn't sure if I was ready to accept that fact yet.

I tapped my fingers against the desktop in a preoccupied and somewhat angry manner. I had already told Jasper everything. I had said them _out loud. _Didn't that make them real?

My feelings were off. A preconceived notion of safety received from time with Jasper. It was probably just the after-affect of him manipulating my emotions for extended periods of time.

The corner of my lips twitched upwards into a bittersweet and surprisingly convincing smile. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

Part of me felt remorse for lying to her, but another part – a more dominant part, may I add – was glad to escape another _heartfelt _confession about Edward. Angela patted my shoulder once more, smiled comfortingly and withdrew her hand. The rest of the class dragged on until the bell rang, ushering us to lunch.

I rushed to the cafeteria, eager to see Jasper.

He wasn't at his usual table. Instead he was seated with a group of seniors who I didn't personally know, but could name all of them. They looked nervous to have him there, but pleased nonetheless.

I laughed. Even vampires didn't like to sit by themselves.

Before I could make my way half way across the cafeteria to him he was beside me, guiding me out of the building.

"We're going to eat outside today. Is that okay?" It wasn't so much a question; it was more of a statement. Or a command – depending on how you look at it.

But I protested anyway. "No Jasper! My friends—,"

"—Can wait." He wrapped his arm around my waist with an iron grip. There was no escaping.

Before long I found myself at the same picnic table I had been seated on that morning. Jasper was sitting next to me, his fingers leisurely tracing the chips in the wood next to wrist, ready to grab it at any given moment.

I tried to gather my thoughts beforeI spoke. I had been to anxious to see Jasper during class, but as soon as I had reached the cafeteria and he was next to me, the feeling had flipped. I contemplated that he could be messing around with my emotions, but that didn't seem like something Jasper would do.

"Where is everyone else?"

That would work. A nice simple question that would provide me with a nice simple answer.

"They all went hunting together. Carlisle didn't want Edward to go alone so he went with him, and then Emmett decided to tag-along, and Rose went with him. Esme was going to stay, but I told her she could go."

I nodded. "Why'd you stay behind? Aren't you the… newest member of the family?" I immediately perused my lips, hoping I hadn't offended him.

Jasper stifled a laugh. "That's exactly why I'm staying here," I pulled my eyebrows together in the pause between his statements. "I need to learn how to control myself. I can't just go run off and eat an elk every time I'm feeling thirsty. I have self-control I just need to learn how to use it."

The comment made me giggle. Jasper glared at me but his eyes danced. "What's so funny?"

"Elk."

"…And remind me what makes that so humorous."

I coughed and shrugged, but Jasper didn't avert his gaze. He stared at me, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know!" I shoved him playfully, which turned out to be a meaningless effort. "It was funny! You were trying to be serious – and you were – but then you started talking about elks!"

He shot me a side wards glance. "Bella…"

I giggled my apology and Jasper's eyes softened. "Are you hungry?"

I nodded and he seemed to twitch; only now he held a tray of food.

"That was fast."

"I'm known for speed."

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Much like the first half of the day the second dragged on for what seemed like an eternity. But finally the bell rang and released us from our linoleum padded and fluorescently lit prison. 

The Mercedes was parked where the Volvo normally would have been – I hadn't noticed that this morning. The windows were rolled down and Jasper was sitting in the drivers seat waiting for me. I got in and seated myself.

"Its Friday," Jasper pointed out. I nodded. "I'm going to be alone tonight. That's almost certain."

Suddenly my heart was beating faster then if I'd taken an entire bottle of digitalis. "What?"

"Relax Bella," Jasper laughed. "Don't give yourself an ulcer."

I forced out a nervous giggle, and much to my surprise, my heart began to slow to slow to a normal rate. (Most likely with Jasper's help). "What are you trying to say?"

He hesitated, "that Edward doesn't trust you to be by yourself. He thinks you'll manage to fall out of a window or get run over or something to that extent."

"No I wouldn't!" I seethed as realization dawned upon me. "But that means Edwards worried about me!"

Jasper snorted behind his closed lips. "Actually, I lied. Alice will be home around five." He smiled slightly at the thought. "She'll pick you up before six."

I felt a pang of anger for being lied to, but quickly recovered from it. When I was spending time with Alice by my own free will she was actually somewhat fun to be with. "Wait, but what about Charlie?"

We were back at my house by that point. Jasper parked the car and unlocked the door

"My little physic freak says he'll say yes," he said fondly.

I smiled. "Bye Jasper. I'll see you later," I got out of the car and closed the door. He drove off.

I immediately when into the house and dialed Charlie's number on the kitchen phone. He picked up on the third ring.

_"Police Chief Swan." _

"Hi Charlie."

_"Oh! Hello Bells!"_ He responded, surprised at my call.

"Alice wants me to spend the night tonight."

Charlie paused for a beat, _"I don't see why not." _

"Thank you, Charlie! I'll make you some lasagna for dinner tonight! I'll leave it out so it'll probably still be warm when you get home."

_"So you'll be gone before I get home,"_ he mumbled to himself. _"What time are you leaving?" _

"She'll pick me up around six."

_"Okay. Don't stay up too late." _

I nodded, even though I knew Charlie couldn't see. "I won't. See you tomorrow."

_"Bye Bella. See you tomorrow." _

He hung up without another word.

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Eeep. I didn't like this chapter as much. Bella and Jazzy both felt really OOC to me, what do you all think?

Well this time I need six more reviews before I'll post the next chapter. Sorry guys, but I need critiques and shiz :P

Oh, before I forget, if anyone can get the Smashing Pumpkins reference in Chapter One, I'll give you a cookie! Or give an OC your name. Which ever you prefer. :


	3. Plaisir D'Amour

**A/N **Hey everyone! Sorry about the length of this chapter... (or lack of it I should say.) I just wanted to get it up before I forgot about it. xD

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I would put your names in, but I'm getting kicked off of the computer and don't have the time :P

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By the time I was done with Charlie's dinner, it was already 5:48. I left the lasagna on the counter and went upstairs to pack.

I threw some a pair of jeans, a shirt, my pajamas and toiletries into an old backpack I used mainly for overnight trips. I slung the bag over my shoulder and went outside to wait for Alice.

She was sitting in the drivers seat of a brand new yellow Porsche with such a smile plastered on her face I couldn't help but wonder who died. She giggled and addressed me in her perfect soprano voice.

"This is going to be so much fun, Bella!"

I groaned. What had I agreed to? Alice was sitting perfectly still, her foot feeding the gas at a rate that was not only unhealthy but also surely illegal. An angelically smug look painted her pixie-like features as she gracefully turned the wheel.

"What type of fun, exactly?"

Alice didn't answer right away. She seemed to gather her thoughts together in hopes of rephrasing whatever she planned to make it sound more appealing to me.

"Well. I kind of got us tickets to go see Pride and Prejudice."

I felt as if an immense weight was lifted from my chest – I could handle a movie.

"I didn't know it was still playing."

Alice kept her expression unreadable. "Its not."

I lifted one eyebrow. "Then how are we seeing it?"

"Live," she replied nonchalantly.

Immediately, I felt my heart sink. "Oh no, Alice! We're not seeing the play, are we?"

She pursed her lips. "We're not seeing the play." Sighing with relief, I smiled. "We're seeing the musical."

"_Alice!" _

She giggled nervously. "Don't worry, Bella. I can lend you something to wear."

"When's Edward going to be back?"

Her posture straightened as her eyes became suddenly guarded.

"Soon."

It was a lie. That much was obvious, but I did my best to ignore the ominous feeling building in the pit of my stomach.

I groaned as Alice threw her closet open to reveal a closet full of designer clothes and dresses I would never be able to afford. She immediately began to shift her weight between her feet as she scanned the mess of elegant cloth. She perked up and grinned as she danced forward.

"This ones perfect!" She exclaimed, holding up a dark burgundy dress.

I gasped.

The soft cloth was embroidered with thousands of tiny sequins, the exact same shade as the dress. It was a halter, and would no doubt skim my knees. Starting from the waistline there were two extra _layers _– for lack of a better word – of cloth. The first layer reached halfway down the original cloth of the dress. And the second halfway down the first. The edges of the layers were made to look unevenly cut.

"No, Alice! I couldn't possibly–,"

"—Yes you could," she insisted, pulling me closer to the closet. "It'll look great on you! The darkness will contrast beautifully with your pale skin!"

I made a face. "You bought this for me, didn't you? You know you're never gonna grow…"

Alice smiled innocently and shook her head.

I pressed my lips together in a thin line.

Alice ignored me. "When you've got the dress on, I'll be in my bathroom. We've still got to do makeup."

I nodded as Alice left the room. I stripped and pulled the dress on. I starred at myself in disbelief in the mirror hung on the back of her closet door.

Alice was right.

The dress, although small, was extremely form fitting and the plummeting v-neck line made me look more feminine then I ever thought possible.

Every time I moved even a fraction of an inch the studio track lighting bounced off of the tiny sequins, reflecting thousands of pools of burgundy light onto the white walls.

It almost looked like I was_sparkling. _

I backed against the wall and sunk down to the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and squeezed my eyes shut.

I tried to force the images out of my mind, but received no such luck. The memories came like an avalanche; a surplus of something you weren't expecting.

_Me hanging onto Edwards hand as he pulled me through a forest, the sun shining off of the skin beneath his open shirt. _

_Edward watching me intently as I took my anger out on a bowl of mushroom ravioli. _

_Me and Edward standing in the hallway before I went to gym, as he quickly swept his fingers across my cheek._

_And finally, Edward leaning in to kiss me after going for a _hike.

I was dragged back to reality by the sound of the door opening.

"Hey Bella are you okay? Because I thought I heard—" Alice cut herself off and was by my side before I had time to wipe my tears away.

"Jasper…" She whispered.

Within an instant Jasper was in the doorway, his golden eyes darted from Alice to me, then finally back to Alice.

"What's wrong?" He asked obliviously.

Her lips vibrated and an unbelievably fast string of words came from her. I didn't try to pick out what she was saying.

It didn't matter.

She pulled her eyebrows together and frowned at Jasper – who simply pursed his lips.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I've got some make-up work to do. Her voice was even, although she was clearly agitated.

"Jasper," I began, my voice shaking. "He's _not coming back,_ is he?"

Jasper didn't answer right away. I waited.

"No," he finally admitted.

"I see. Well, if you'll excuse me."

Jasper nodded solemnly and in a rush of air, was gone.

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Whoo! Chapter 3! Review! Because more reviews happy author. Happy author more updates:D 


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